Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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