i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
