I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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