carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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