using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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