I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
