Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
