well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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