just tell him i said nine months
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
