How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
