It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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