Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
