Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize