I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize