You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
