i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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