If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
