ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
