Do you still have your period?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
