he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
