It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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