we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
