doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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