This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
