Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
