My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
