he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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