This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
