I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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