so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
