smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
