you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
