It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
