You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
