I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
