Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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