You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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