if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
