bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
