They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
