Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
