Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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