He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
