Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's always time for handjobs
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
