ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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