Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
