She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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