Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
