You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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