I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize