You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
