if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just had sex on a roof
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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