How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
