he was CRYING into my vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
