I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize