is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
