The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
