he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
