Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize