is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
