if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
