my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
