just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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